Coping with Loneliness

What is loneliness? 

Loneliness is a feeling of isolation or separation from other people. Whether we are physically alone or not, loneliness is a common feeling that there is no one around who truly understands and supports us. 

Many LGBTQ+ people experience isolation due to victimization (bullying, abuse, discrimination) based on our identities, social withdrawal due to feelings or experiences of difference, lack of support for our identity or relationships, or not knowing other people of LGBTQ+ experience.

These experiences can be especially pronounced for people in remote areas with little access to transportation, as well as people who hold more than one minority identity. 

You are not alone. LGBTQ+ people are everywhere and deserve love + respect. 

Finding Community
Seek out positive LGBTQ+ voices and experiences (social media, forums, books). Feeling that there is no one like us who thrives in the world can be really isolating. We recommend the following role models to start: 

• Alok Vaid-Menon
• Alex Newell
• Kate Bornstein
• Mia Mingus
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Imagine hopeful visions of the future. When we’re lonely we can feel there is no hope that things will change. Though there are limitations in life, imagining the relationships, community, and future we want can give us the motivation to build connections when opportunities arise (and they will!)

Connect with people who share your interests in real life. While we may not know people who share our identities, there are probably people who enjoy the same movies, music, games, and other hobbies. Relationships built on shared interests are just as important as shared identity. 

Find LGBTQ+ positive spaces in your area. While not an option for everyone, many communities have spaces dedicated to LGBTQ+ young people, such as Gay-Straight Alliance or community center that is accessible by bus. 

Connect online with people who share your identities and experiences. There are a lot of safe ways to build connections online, through groups and forums. Some sites to chat include: 

• Trevorspace.org
• 7cups.com
• Qchatspace.org

Virtual conversations can be very helpful in reducing isolation. 

‍Support from a Counselor
If you see a counselor or therapist, ask for strategies to help with: 
Making supportive, healthy connections when it’s difficult to trust. Having been rejected by people we care about can make new relationships difficult to start, it’s okay to need help. 

Developing coping strategies for harmful situations. If we’re experiencing harm at home or school, we can gain support for how to respond to harm or cope with our feelings.

‍Gaining support from family and friends. Coming out and coping with being out can be very difficult emotionally and socially. The right therapist or counselor can help make difficult relationships better. 

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